By: Saaniah Hardy
I don’t understand why I’m mad at myself.
What did I do?
Why teachers are mean to students.
When they have problems at home?
What’s the meaning of your rudeness?
I don’t understand why you mess up the world.
Why you make everyone’s life worse for them,
Why you hurt the people you dislike?
But most of all I don’t understand myself,
Why there is red blood where I stand?
I don’t know what I feel.
How I feel,
How I see this dark red room.
But most of all I don’t understand you,
Why did you do what you did every day,
Why did you yell for no reason?
Why did you say that about me?
What did I do to you?
What I do understand is that I didn’t mean it.
I know you are mad,
I know you won’t forgive me for what I did,
I know I am sorry.
What I do understand is that I shouldn’t be mad at myself, but at you
I understand, that you made my life this way.
Made me cry every day for nothing.
Nothing turned into something big.
I understand why I’m sad,
Why I’m mad!
It’s because of you. It hurt too deep to fix.
The 99th Thought 